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  • Writer's pictureRebecca Stone, LMHC

This AND That: Coping with Dialectics

At this time, I'm finding most of us (and myself included) are caught in feelings of gratitude and grief.

These feelings may exist independently or at the same time. We can bounce back and forth between them or feel like these feelings are contradictory. Both feelings can coexist. The way we think and speak about these feelings matters.

How can these feelings best coexist? Use the word "and" (to include and validate both/all) instead of "but" (which excludes or invalidates one/some/all) these feelings.


"I'm grateful for my health AND sad at the loss of sense of safety."

"I'm thankful to have a home AND nervous about paying bills because of limited/loss of income."

"I'm grateful to be able to virtually connect with family and friends AND feeling sad at the loss of physical closeness and emotional connection that comes with in-person interactions."

It's okay to feel all your feelings. All feelings are valid.


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