Rebecca Stone, LMHC
Mother's Day: The love and the loss
"Happy Mother's Day!" That phrase can be wonderful, and it can sometimes be difficult.
While we take time to celebrate those around us who are mothers (often times in the "traditional sense" of thinking of those who have living children), the pang of loss can be felt far and wide, most often by those who are quiet. Holidays, anniversaries, birth dates, special events, etc. can all be joyous events and simultaneously difficult.
Loss is an unfortunate fact of life. Dates such as this can bring up the loss of a mother or child - from neglect, poor parenting, abandonment, infertility, loss of the hope of having children, loss of pregnancy or the passing of a child, wife/partner, or mother, or loss by our own choice to distance ourselves from someone who is toxic to us. It can be difficult to sit with those feelings of loss at any time, but especially on holidays.
If you're experiencing difficult emotions today, I encourage you to focus on the positives. Focus on:
- the wonderful memories you have,
- those who stepped up or in to support us,
- the step, adoptive, or mother figures who have helped support and shape us,
- the children who are in your life that you can make a positive impact on their lives,
- the single fathers whose courage, strength, and love is to be commended,
- the fur moms who love their fur-babies as if they were human babies,
- the resilience you possess that allows you to get through the difficult times.
Remember: It's okay to celebrate, and it's equally as okay to honor a loss. Allow yourself that time and space to process the loss in your own way.